A week in the life of a furikin janitor
by tc1
Summary: What is the life of a janitor at furikin like? how does he manage to deal with rampageing psychotic martial artists, and the odd demon? This is how.


disclaimer:  
I don't own any of the main characters of ranma 1/2,  
or the universe in which it happenes, or anything else.  
I am also not a ancient demon trying to regain my scattered  
parts...now could you give me that red gem now? please?  
  
  
  
  
  
A week in the life of the Furiken Janitor  
  
-by _tc_  
  
  
{day one}  
You'd think being a janitor wouldn't be so hard...oops,  
stepped on another one. Darn kids, you think they'd learn  
that when an upperclassman says something they don't have to  
listen...bratty principal's kid...hmm, that looks like it  
hurt. oh my, how did they get up there? now how am I  
supposed to get these kids out of those trees? hm? what's  
this? good grief, and I just fixed this wall too. must  
have gotten her mad, usually they get stopped by stone walls  
instead of going right through. oh, it's him. should of  
figured. darn principal's kid again.   
  
  
hmm...rather messy outside today. oh look, there's  
another large hole in the wall...lovely. oh, and four new  
craters all in the lawn...just what I always wanted too!  
:growl: And just after I re-soded it again. Stupid kids.  
:sigh: That blasting point technique sure makes a mess of  
things. What's this? NO! That rotten principal's kid... he  
cut down another one of my trees...oh well, time to call the  
nursery...again. :sigh: I wonder how he does that. And with  
a wooden practice sword no less... oh well, it's at least a  
sword, something that's meant for cutting things in half,  
not like that other kid's deal...I mean that's just plain  
wrong; belts are meant for holding your pants up, not  
destroying two shed's and...five trees. :sigh: blasted kids.  
  
  
{day two}  
  
Hoi! that staff meeting was weird, even for this place!   
I don't care WHAT that loon says, I am NOT replacing all the  
bushes around here with coconut trees. Even if I did, they  
wouldn't grow well in this climate any way...  
  
Oh well, at least the Pinapple-san isn't enforcing the  
haircut rule for the staff. Like he tried to last time. I  
still want to know where all the female teachers got those  
mallets from. oh look, there's Hinako Sensi...she looks  
angry...there's that shriveled old man between the two of  
us...uh-oh, I think she's about to ::Blamo!!::...oh look at  
all the pretty lights...  
  
  
ugh...Hinako-San really needs to work on her aim...oh  
well, off to repair that hole in the girls locker  
room...again.  
  
:huff: this one's bigger than before, I wonder how  
:huff: it got made. :tap: hmm? who could "WHAA? What in  
blazes do you want Oiji?"  
  
:toss: :fizzz: "you're bricking up my easiest  
entrance...and just who are you to call someone 'Oiji'?"  
:hop:  
  
humph...I'm not THAT old...Hey, what's this? oh no...  
  
  
::BWUMPTH!!!!::  
  
  
Ouch...stupid firecracker-using old man... :sigh:  
another hole in the landscape to fix. You'd think he would  
use something less powerful, but nooooo... :crack!: ohhh,  
my back!  
  
{day three}  
  
What a nice nurse this school has...pretty, young, and  
warm hearted. Martial arts massage and acupuncture, who'd  
of thought? Reminded me of that Tofu fellow a few years  
back. I wonder what ever happened to him? Him and that  
nice tendo girl are probably married by now. If he was ever  
able to get over that terminal shyness of his. Never could  
figure out the skeleton he always had with him...  
  
You've got to be kidding! I did not just see a winged,  
tentacaled minataur just run by. :sigh: looks like I've got  
to get my meds adjusted again. last time it was a talking  
mailbox...wonder why it wanted to find its way to the  
Uchans?  
  
  
{day four}  
  
Hm? what's this piece of paper doing here? looks like  
a flyer of some sort. lets see here...  
  
"Are YOU man enough to challenge me Saotome? I  
challenge you to a duel at sunrise on this soccer field, all  
are invited to witness your utter defeat and obliviation.  
BWA,HAHAHAHA!!   
-prince Minichimichaunga of the  
kingdom of fausfod"  
  
Oh, just another duel...wish these guys would use  
somewhere else for their battles...I'm getting tired of  
picking up after all of them. Maybe I should ask for a  
raise...  
  
  
WOA! gaCK! :thump: :trample: :groan: Someone should  
put that old fart into a home...shouldn't be allowed to go  
bouncing off peoples heads...or stealing girls  
underwear...or having girls trample people. guess he's still  
mad at me for fixing the locker room wall...ouch... :thump:  
  
"have at you! foul sorcerer!" oh look, the brat's  
awake again. and he's chasing the trouble magnet. Hmph,  
they're running behind, usually they're done with the "chase  
and smite" routine three minutes ago. Oh well, at least my  
trees are ok. And my walls. and the new turf. ::SpRaCk!::  
oops, spoke too soon. better call the construction  
company. weird how lightning is always hitting around here.   
  
:Doomph!: and Mrs. shampoo makes her usual entrance.   
on time as usual, but I wish she would use the door more.   
I'll put it on the Nekohanten's tab; at least someone around  
here pays for their destruction.  
  
::~BOOMCHAKALAKALAKA~:: WHA!? oh no! the flowers!   
"ALLRIGHT, WHO LET THE DEMON OUT!!?" blasted  
demons...always make such a mess...probably the old fart's  
fault too. or the trouble magnet. hm? well I'll be, looks  
like the brat was trying to be a sorcerer himself...fight  
fire with fire I guess. too bad Ranma's not a sorcerer.   
guess I've got to get rid of it. "shoo, shoo! scat! go  
away! shoo!" hm...its not listening. oh well. :spray:  
:roar: :thud: Ahh, Demonex. works almost as well as  
demon-begone. a lot better than that demon-away...wish It  
got rid of the smell like the other stuff did though. oh  
well, that's what you get for half off. this stuff even  
gets rid of crab grass too.  
  
well I'll be, they aren't tearing up the field? no, it  
looks like they're setting up a whatchamacallit...A  
projector. oh brother...  
  
{day five}  
  
"ha, take this" :BOOM: "missed me" :ratatatatata:  
:buzzz: :kathoom!: "ha, you'll never defeat me!...oops."   
Ranma's a Goldeneye world champion...who knew? at  
least the field's intact.  
  
"Are you sure about this?" Oh well, the peace was nice  
while it lasted...  
"yes, it is absolutely vital to the Timestream"   
Green hair...weird, but she seems nice enough.  
"Allright, he's in the gym. ::grab:: but please try not to  
do too much structural damage...It's hard enough keeping up  
after the lunatics around here as it is."  
A nod...what's she muttering about? something about a  
"Tim"...looks like she's got a migraine too...oh well I  
guess a nod's as good as it will get, better go call the  
brick company again. I wonder if I can get a volume  
discount?  
  
  
"dead scream" ::krakthoom:: "Argh!!!!, what'cha do that  
for?!  
"foul cur, release your hold on the timeline, and  
prepare to be smitten, for I am Pluto, the sailor suited  
defender of time!"  
Good grief, she sounds like the brat...oh no, not the  
gym roof! that's going to take the rest of the day to fix!   
...who taught him to throw tornadoes around indoors anyways?   
I thought it was an outside technique...  
  
  
Ugh...this week stank...at least the weekend's here  
now. Back to Tomobiki for me...I hope that horned girl has  
calmed down now, she seemed really angry at that neighbor  
kid earlier today. Hmm... on second thought, maybe I'll  
visit Katsuhito's shrine this weekend. he's been really  
bummed out since his daughter died, maybe we could go into  
town and party...I wonder if his son in law and grandson  
would like to go with us...what was his grandson's name  
anyways...was it Tempi? oh well, I'll find out when I get  
there...  
  
  
{End}  
  
  
  
  
-authors notes  
  
just something I cooked up while working...a part was  
blatently stolen from nuke em till they glow, which I  
highly recommend. Just don't let the arbyfish get  
into your mind, they are sooo hard to get out.  
  
_tc_  
  
WWW.ANGELFIRE.COM/WEIRD/TEFLONCAT/TCSCAVE.HTM  
  
  
neko-oni at angelfire dot com - for c&c/honest help/etc.  
tefloncat at angelfire dot com - for anything else  
(there, that should keep the robots away...) 


End file.
